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そろそろ秋の気配もチラホラ感じられる今日この頃、第２回を向かえた
「萌えよ剣」ブログ。 皆様、いかがお過ごしでしょうか？ 魂のリアル・ハードコアパンチパーマ・ラッパー“大仏”でございます。 って「パンチパーマじゃないじゃん？」「そもそもラッパーじゃないし」 「明日入稿だから」とかいう思わず“耳が餃子みたいに閉まればいいのに” と無理なことを考えてしまいそうなツッコミが各所からきそうですが、 …だって言いたかったんだもん。言ってみたかったの。 ブルーベリーがキライなの。ゴキブリはもぉぉっとキライなの。←（ちょい前の某引越しのＣＭ の女の子風にお願いします。“象さんはもぉぉっと好きです”てやつなんですが…） 先日は「中秋の名月」でしたが、皆さんご覧になりましたか？ 僕は見ました。とある方との約束の時間に遅れそうだったので、 ふと見上げただけですが、まん丸のお月様でした。 大人になるとなかなか風流なものを愛でる心の余裕も時間も なくなるものですなぁ。 とここでいきなりですが、 先週、ＤＶＤ「萌えよ剣」ｖｏｌ．零 の広井王子さんの インタビュー部分を都内某スタジオにて収録しました。 いろいろとネタバレの危険性があるので詳しくは割愛しますが、 その中で「この作品を一言で表現すると？」という質問に対して 広井さんは“おバカな青春劇”とおっしゃっていたのです。 僕はなるほどなぁ～と思いながら妙に印象に残ったのでした。 ※ここで緊急営業トーク！このほかにもｖｏｌ．零では 広井さんが「萌えよ剣」についてあんなことやこんなこと、 ここでしか聴けない話満載で展開しています！ お楽しみに！１１月２５日（金）発売！！ 僕が青春と聞いて思い出す言葉があります。 一言で“青春”といっても、 月並みな言い方ですが、１００人いれば １００通りの青春があるわけで。そして それぞれに過ごしてきた時代背景も違いますね。 それにそもそも「青春の定義は？」 ということで思い出してしまう言葉の登場です。 批評家でありノンフィクション作家としても有名な 立花隆さんがとある著作で、 「自分は４０歳過ぎまで青春だった」と。 な、なんですとぉ！？それっておかしーじゃん！ オッサンど真ん中じゃん！？夢見る頃はとっくに過ぎてリアルな現実 ドップリじゃん！？と驚いてしまったのですが、 立花氏は青春の定義を “自分に生き方にまどいつづけて試行錯誤をつづけ、 不定形の未来を抱えている間”は青春ではないか、と。 ほっほ～そういう捉え方もあるんだなと僕は妙に納得してしまいました。 そう考えると僕自身も、不況が長引く昨今リストラされてしまい 路頭に迷うお父様方も、そして皆様も“不定形の未来”を抱えているのであり、 つまりは“青春”なのではないでしょうか？ たまにTVで元気なおじーさん、おばーさんが 「ワシらもまだまだ青春じゃわい！わっはっは！」と 言っておられるのもなかなかになかなかなのですよ。 と今回はいたって真面目な話をしてしまいましたが、 仕事が追いかけてきてますので（笑）それではみなさんごきげんよう。 追伸：このブログをあたたかい目で見守ってくださって いる方々、誠に誠にありがとうございます。 皆様の言葉に励まされ（プレッシャー！？） 頑張っていこうと思います。“大仏”
by moe-ken
| 2005-09-20 18:07
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Comments(1402)
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Like
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
I am not young enough to know everything.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Why don't you write books people can read?
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Barabsi's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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