2010年2月1日を振り返る
![]() 昨日は混雑していたこともあり、今日はMOMAへ。 MOMAとは MoMA | The Museum of Modern Art のこと わたしが遊びに行った期間は ちょうど 大好きなティムバートンの展示も開催されていて とてもとても楽しみにしていた場所だった。 残念なことに撮影禁止だったので、作品は撮れなかった けれど記憶にとどめておこう ティム・バートンの作品でとくに好きなのは シザーハンズ そしてビッグフィッシュ いつ見てもひとり泣いてしまう。 良い涙を流したい人にはおすすめ。 ![]() アンディ・ウォーフォールや、ピカソを始めとする巨匠たちの原画から わたしが愛してやまないメキシコの画家 フリーダ・カーロの作品も飾られている。 ![]() あまりにも展示数も多いし、人も多かったので疲れたけれど ひとりベンチに座り 考えた NYに来た理由を ひとり考えてみた 絵を描いているわたしは 自分の作品が好きだ これから努力するともっとよくなると思う。 愛情を持って描かなければいいものは出来ないし、 誰かが喜んでくれたときはいつも心からうれしく思う。 アート市場が整っているNYは日本に比べたらアーティストには活動しやすい。 数年前はわたしも冷たく見られたものだ。 ![]() ”絵なんか描いていたって、食っていけないんでしょう? ふらふらして 会社にもはいらないなんて ダメなやつだなぁ” こんな風に見られたこともあった。あの時はくやしかったな。 アメリカに来ると、胸を張って『わたしはアーティストです!』と言える。 きっと日本のように こうしなくてはいけない!みたいなルールがここにはないんだろう。 その分世界からアーティストが集まっているから、 ここで活躍するには相当な気合が必要だろうが、やりがいはきっとあると思う。 ![]() わたしはなんのために絵を描いているんだろう?改めて考えてみた。 地位を確立させたいのか? 誰かが認めてくれたら作品の価値があがるなんて けっこうおかしなことだと思う。 わたしは100人いたら100人好みが違っても良いと思っている。 生きていくために必要な資金は少なからず必要だけれど 何億円もする高額な値段で作品を買ってもらいたいわけではない。 わたしは死ぬまでずーっと絵を描いていたい。 だけれど、わたしだって人間だから いつかは死んでしまう そして残した作品が多くの人を笑顔にできたら それはわたしが生きてきた意味を持てる。 明日に死んでしまったって おかしくないこの世の中で 絵を描いて暮らしていこうと強く思った。 大都市は色のないグレー あんなに電気がビカビカとついているのに わたしにはこの町がカラフルには見えなかった。 そんな大都市の壁や 駅の構内に わたしは自分の作品を残して その前を通る多くの人へ 幸せを届けられたらうれしい ![]() セントラルパークで 森の中を歩いていたら 自分の前に広がる道がすっきりとまっすぐ見えた。 わたしもシザーハンズがいちばん好きよー。 日本好きだけど、わたしもいろんなところに行って、いろんなこと感じたいなぁ そうだねー!飛行機代は必要でもあとの生活は自分次第でどうにか安くすることもできるしね。休みがあればわたしはラオスをおすすめします。 もしくは韓国だねー そうだねー!飛行機代は必要でもあとの生活は自分次第でどうにか安くすることもできるしね。休みがあればわたしはラオスをおすすめします。 もしくは韓国だねー わぁ~~~! 久々にブログ拝見したけど、 ティムバートンの展示見に行ったんだ~!? 私、コレ物凄く今見に行きたい場所のひとつです! 私は、ビッグフィッシュとビートルジュースがマイフェイバリットです!!! ティムバートン最高! いろいろ思うことはあるけれどそれでもNY大好き!!! (Boojilさんはメキシコやアジアが合ってそうですね。) NYに住む人間全てがアーティストなんだって、ある人のブログにそうありました。私もそう思います。 それと、66歳になる母が言っていました。 一緒に沖縄を旅行してから沖縄の食べ物や文化に興味を持つようになったわ。 モンゴルやヨーロッパもそうね。 一度訪れた国、街で起きた出来事は気になるわね~って。 世界を知ることは、 友達を思うことと同じように、その国々を思うようになる。 それが平和に繋がっていくんだろうなって思いました。 これからも、たくさんの旅を続けてください! アコドンちゃん<ご無沙汰!お元気ですか? そうなのですよ。NYにちょこっと滞在してきました。 季節も重なって、冬のNYはとっても寒くて寂しくなりました。 わたしやっぱり太陽が好きみたい。夏生まれだからかしら? 最近忙しいけれど、ひさしぶりにゆっくりお話したいものですな! あこちゃんに会わせたいひともいるんだよ~! またメールでもください! 4月はようやく憧れのインドへ旅に出るよ! インド情報、あれば是非教えてね! 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All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right. I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It. I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It. DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form. Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket? Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial. I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial. I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial. Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. Humor is just another defense against the universe. Humor is just another defense against the universe. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it. Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it. Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it. Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead. Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production? Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production? The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight. We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. He managed to stupid himself right into the White House. If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign. Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles. Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles. Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles. Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles. If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions. Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men. It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead. The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself. We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself. We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself. We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself. I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass. I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass. True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass. True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint. Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down. Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface. Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface. Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface. Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI ! Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war. If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album. I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position. What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position. What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position. What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position. The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'. If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case. The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case. Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead. Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead. The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit. It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right. Humor is also a way of saying something serious. Humor is also a way of saying something serious. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you. Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you. Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not. > > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once... > > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once... In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window? Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female. Why don't you write books people can read? Why don't you write books people can read? Why don't you write books people can read? Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife. The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head. A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny. Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people. Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people. Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form. The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. [War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur. [War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur. [War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur. [War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur. I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter. The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. 2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2. The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so. To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so. C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy. I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code. Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood. Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...) When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly. The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else. There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them? The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim. If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat. If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat. If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how. The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste. Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think. Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think. Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think. Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends. The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself. People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure. If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track There is no sincerer love than the love of food. Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket? A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight. The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight. The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem. Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official... If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all. The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic. A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them? Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not. Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not. Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead. What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position. Humor is just another defense against the universe. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal. Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers. Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers. Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers. It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right. It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right. It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right. I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial. Imitation is the sincerest form of television. Imitation is the sincerest form of television. Imitation is the sincerest form of television. It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings. It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you. Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you. Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it. A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family. A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family. Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour. Computers are useless; they can only give you answers. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? When ideas fail, words come in very handy. If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all. The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel. Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties. The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties. The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties. The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties. Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people. I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray. Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head. One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case. Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now. They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now. They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy... Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely. Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely. In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement. The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It. Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. A camel is a horse designed by a committee A camel is a horse designed by a committee I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact. I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat. If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat. A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour. Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. I failed to make the chess team because of my height. I failed to make the chess team because of my height. A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable. I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them? All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. The truth is more important than the facts. The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again. I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position. Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood. Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood. Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators. We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators. Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic. I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic. I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic. I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic. Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China. When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China. The best way to predict the future is to invent it. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. Black holes are where God divided by zero. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them. Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is! The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. A model is done when nothing else can be taken out. They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent. The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney... The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney... I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely. Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock. Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. Everything that can be invented has been invented. Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic. Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic. Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic. If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. It is better to be quotable than to be honest. It is better to be quotable than to be honest. Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet. Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet. Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow. Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow. If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones. 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house. If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting. To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole. When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China. You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working. My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate. Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment. About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead. About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead. About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car... A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials. Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order. So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it. A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk. Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk. One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. Premature optimization is the root of all evil. We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction. We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction. We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. Why don't you write books people can read? Why don't you write books people can read? Why don't you write books people can read? A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney... I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things. Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things. Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things. Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things. Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things. People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do. The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators. We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers? Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers? Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers? Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers? Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock. If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting. Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do. People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do. Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties. A man's only as old as the woman he feels. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum. O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum. I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night. The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl. All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl. If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order. If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Everything that can be invented has been invented. Everything that can be invented has been invented. Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China. My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right. My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right. My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right. They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car... A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks. If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. The truth is more important than the facts. The truth is more important than the facts. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow. I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in. Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it. There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it. There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet. Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. After every 'victory' you have more enemies. After every 'victory' you have more enemies. After every 'victory' you have more enemies. After every 'victory' you have more enemies. I am not young enough to know everything. And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely. Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female. Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female. 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If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too. Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem. Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure. Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure. We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it. I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny. A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny. A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny. The cynics are right nine times out of ten. The cynics are right nine times out of ten. The cynics are right nine times out of ten. Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. 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Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax. Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California. Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California. Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California. I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow. Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow. Behind every great fortune there is a crime. If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement. When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production? And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague. The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague. The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague. The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague. Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin. Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin. Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. When ideas fail, words come in very handy. It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-- They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-- They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-- When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions. I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock. A man's only as old as the woman he feels. Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children. The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together. Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers? I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted. The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. Hi there, what's up you guys??? A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting. A man's only as old as the woman he feels. I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It. I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It. I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It. Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact. A model is done when nothing else can be taken out. Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital. Men have become the tools of their tools. If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you. Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy. The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. <a href=http://www.regtidy.com/>registry cleanup</a> , clean my pc i0p0422r My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches. If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly. If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory. Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory. Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory. Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools. Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood. Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood. I criticize by creation - not by finding fault. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact. Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso. Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'. Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means. 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy... Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California. Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me. About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead. About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead. When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles. Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles. Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it. There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it. There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it. There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it. I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter. Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke. If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke. If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke. If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke. Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one. It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both. You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one. You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one. I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem. If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem. If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem. If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem. Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist. Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it. Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it. Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder. Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital. A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent. Why don't you write books people can read? I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it. Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot. 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