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Commented by pu- at 2005-06-13 14:12 xアボガド大好き！！
こないだ居酒屋で食べたのは
おいしかったなー
こないだ居酒屋で食べたのは
おいしかったなー
Commented by poppo* at 2005-06-15 11:35 xおいしそ～！
アボガドと言えば醤油になってしまうだけに、
最近のアボガド料理には驚かされます。
自分でも何か新しいアボガド料理に挑戦してみようかな？！
・・・その前に料理の腕を上げなくては。。
アボガドと言えば醤油になってしまうだけに、
最近のアボガド料理には驚かされます。
自分でも何か新しいアボガド料理に挑戦してみようかな？！
・・・その前に料理の腕を上げなくては。。
at 2005-06-19 19:55＞pu-さん
居酒屋ってよくアボカドのメニューがありますよね。
私も一つはかならず頼んでしまうんです！
今度どんなメニューだったのか教えてくださいね。
居酒屋ってよくアボカドのメニューがありますよね。
私も一つはかならず頼んでしまうんです！
今度どんなメニューだったのか教えてくださいね。
＞poppoさん
私も、新たなレシピがあったらまたご紹介しますね。
でも、アボカドって本当にしょうゆとあうんですよね。…不思議。
私も、新たなレシピがあったらまたご紹介しますね。
でも、アボカドって本当にしょうゆとあうんですよね。…不思議。
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Hi there, what's up you guys???
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
The truth is more important than the facts.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Why don't you write books people can read?
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Why don't you write books people can read?
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Why don't you write books people can read?
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Men have become the tools of their tools.
I am not young enough to know everything.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
The truth is more important than the facts.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
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